Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Marriage under attack
Sadly yesterday a Judge granted my wife a divorce despite that he said he had trouble finding any grounds by which to grant it. This was one of the worst times of my life. My mother-in-law even testified against me on my wife's behalf. Family has turned into people testifying against each other. Worst of all there are two beautiful children that we are all supposed to love while we are turning on each other and tossing accusations. Before the hearing I prayed the St. Michael prayer and a Hail Mary. There were only a few grounds to choose from. Adultery, drug and alcohol abuse, convicted/in jail, abandoning the family home for at least a year, or physical/sexual/emotional abuse. Basically she had no grounds however she claimed emotional and sexual abuse. Though she and her mother both testified against me I was able through my testimony and my questioning of them to prove both completely false. The Judge said that he took marriage whether covenant or not very seriously. He also told us that regardless of whether he granted a divorce we were stuck with each other forever because family doesn't stop at divorce. He said he didn't believe for a second that I physically or sexually abused my wife. He then went on to say that this was a difficult case and was hard pressed to find any grounds to grant the divorce. Then he shockingly said that it was a very close call and that I "may" have emotionally abused her on one or two occasions and that was grounds enough to dissolve our marriage. He wasn't convinced that I actually had, but since it may have happened that was enough for him to end a marriage. It is hard to express the emotions that I felt. Hurt, betrayel, sadness, shock, disbelief. The ones that are going to suffer the most by all of this of course are our two beautiful children. She is of course still my wife as we were married in the Catholic Church and I will continue to live my vows. I hope that through the annulment process I can defend the validity of our marriage. It is important to me to show my sons that marriage is a lifelong commitment, a Sacrament, and indeed a Covenant no matter how difficult the circumstances. I love my family.