Thursday, April 9, 2009

I am in the midst of some of the legal goings on involved with divorce. I've learned more about the process than I ever cared to know. I never believed in it, and I still don't. I want to write about some of the unfairness of divorce so maybe if you are someone thinking about inflicting this kind of pain and suffering on your family you might understand. I try in my head to make sense of certain things and I just can't. A family consists of at least 2 persons, being a husband and wife, and then quite often there are kids. How is it that one person has the right to make such a decision so as to strip away the rights of the other spouse and the children to live as a family? How do they have the right to force their spouse and children into a situation where they will only be able to see each other, and spend time with each other a couple days a week? There should be accountability, but with no fault/unilateral divorce there isn't. It should be that the spouse who makes a decision to divorce and leave the family should by that very choice lose the right to be a full time parent and bestow that onto the other spouse who made no such choice. That spouse should have to live with the consequences of that decision, not their spouse and children. They should be given no more than visitation. What I say is not to be harsh, or out of hatred. On the contrary I love my wife more than words can say and would willing work as hard as I could toward reconiling, and I obviously love my children every bit as much. I pray for my wife and family daily. I struggle with these things because my children and I made no choice in this matter, but we have no choice. Only one person in a divorce has a choice. One person can decide the fate of the whole family. It brings to mind a great quote "With great power comes great responsibility". I don't believe what I write is a perfect solution, but there is no perfect solution to divorce except not doing it. It bears remembering that even in the event that a divorce happens in the eyes of God andt the Church the marriage still exists. Jesus himself said "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate".

1 comment:

  1. Mike - I read your pain and divorce is a horrible, horrible end to marriage.

    I also know that when we decide what is best for all concerned, we are not really looking inwardly, but outwardly to find some solution other than ourselves.

    Bearing this in mind, I recall the wit and wisdom of G.K. Chesterton. He wrote, when asked what was wrong with the world..."I am."

    I am praying for you and your family - I know how horrible divorce is - and I pray that a solution will be forthcoming that will make everyone's lives better.

    In Christ's Mercy -