Saturday, October 31, 2009

Yearning for wholeness

What I desire most in my life right now is for my family to be made whole again. I want so much for my wife to love me and even more to learn to be a better husband. My heart aches so much for my children everyday because children suffer the most when families fall apart. I frequently thank God for such a precious gift, but yet lack the understanding of why they deserve such hurt. I feel like a great failure to my kids because as father I cannot protect them from the devastation of our broken family. I often wonder why God gave us free will when all we do is screw things up with it. He had to know all of the hurtful and sinful things we would do with free will and yet He gave it to us anyway. With my free will I choose to be strong for my kids. Raising them is my top priority right now. I gain strength through prayer, going to Mass, and by making use of the Sacraments such as Confession and Adoration.